Societal Conditioning & Its Impact
Deconstructing your societal conditioning is a foundational pillar to Guide to Be. Together we existentially question why we are the way we are and what has gotten us to where we are today.
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Rachel Jackson, a trained therapist that dropped the labels (of therapist) to free others to do the same in their lives, believes challenging societal norms is pivotal in transformation. Societal conditioning is a way for a blanket norm to hide us from our true authenticity. Societal conditioning is like a blanket that is tossed over the entire world to encourage us to be more “one” way and in return, abandon our truth, our voice, our potential, our purpose, our real beliefs, our dreams… and replace it with the “SHOULD’S” from societal messaging to look, act, talk, and be in the most presentable and acceptable way.
These 9 topics are holding you back from your GREATNESS, your PEACE & your FULFILLMENT.
The societal conditioning to be:
1. Realistic: Due to the norm of a Realism Mentality
From the time we become "too young" to play & be silly, we fell into the realism mentality. "Is that realistic to dream of? Is that logical? Could that even happen? Do I have enough money for that? Am I mature enough, or smart enough for that?" The realism mentality can keep us small because early on, we learned this is the mentality of a "mature adult." We feel unable to access our playfulness & imaginative side. We feel bad for putting ourselves first & for taking up space. We feel it's not logical to take risks upon the life we truly desire. Society has taught us to fear our own potential & called it being "realistic."
2. Loved: Due to the norm of Relational Withdrawal
Relationships have become so self-protected that deep connection can be rare to fully attain. We are taught to be fearful of expending our energy because the other person may not support us back. We are conditioned to try to put up boundaries around other people's emotions because we are scared of the depth of emotions we may feel in return. As a society, we are holding ourselves back from true connection & are succumbing to withdrawal in hopes to protect ourselves from pain. Societal conditioning is hurting our relationships by making us fear the emotional result of deep, emotional, reciprocal bonds.
3. Successful: Due to Success PressureThe pressure to be successful & independently self-sustained creates a lack of presence. There is ALWAYS more to do, more to accomplish - creating guilt that we can't do it all & we can't do it all perfectly. We are taught that success comes first & the dedication to ourselves comes last, once everything else is complete. We become last on the totem poll. In our hyper-independence, we are taught, somewhere along the line that if we need help, we are weak. Who told us what determines success anyway? Our societies culture toward hyper-independent success creates self-criticism, loneliness & internal destruction.
4. Accepted: Due to the norm of Labeling & CategorizationOur minds trend toward labeling & categorizing everything to try to make sense of it all. We put things into boxes so we can more safely move through the world. However, once we realize that these boxes are limiting us personally & we find ourselves stuck within those boxes... then, we want out. The constant labeling in our world limits the permission to evolve & change. Societal systems limit our ability to evolve past the already curated norms which boxes us in to a rigidity & structure that holds us back from fulfillment. Societal conditioning has taught you to choose & feel a finality in your decisions, your identity & your path.
5. Protected: Due to the belief that showing up Smaller is “Safer”Our nervous systems on always on full blast. So, as much as possible, we are going to try to find a sense of safety & calm to feel protected. Our mind tells us that this safe tendency will be more possible in the norms - which causes you to feel less SEEN, less DIFFERENT, less EXPOSED. These responses to stay small are valid due to the presence of trauma in all people. However, when we constantly are trying to fit in the norm, we stifle our possibilities for a new experience. The norms allow us to hide in our smallness until the burning gifts inside can't be contained any longer. Societal norms are keeping you from your authenticity & potential.
6. Fit in: Due to a living in a World of NumbnessOur world of numbness & mediocrity is born every time we are stuck in between two conflicting messages: "Don't be too loud" but also "Speak up" "Express your sexuality" but also "Don't be a slut" "Be careful what you eat" but also "Why aren't you having the dessert?" "Take alone time for yourself" but also "Why don't you ever come around?" "Give yourself grace" but also "Get over it - you did it to yourself." "Work life balance is important" but also "Are you working hard enough"? Society has caught us in extremist messaging that numbs us from our own ability to decipher our needs & beliefs.
7. Presentable: Due to a norm of Emotional CongruenceWe are told that emotions are welcomed, however, it's often rare to feel that ALL of us is welcome. The tendency toward emotional incongruence is everywhere, from someone asking you "how are you today?" and the habit to respond, "I'm good" just spills out of our mouths without truly asking ourselves how we are. As a society, we normalize masking ourselves in order to remain "presentable." Being presentable has become a need to "fake it till you make it" - hide the emotions, have it all together, & don't show signs of struggle. Societal conditioning around good, bad, or allowed emotions is keeping you from inner peace.
8. Achieving: Due to a norm of Busyness CultureThere is a pressure to stay busy. If you aren't busy, it is almost like people believe you aren't providing enough value. "What did you get done today? Is your work load full enough? Can you take on more?" Being busy = a belief that you are achieving. Worth has become dependent on how busy you are in our world & it keeps human beings from being, & instead creates a culture of guilt & shame around not being enough of a human doing. Busyness has the nervous system in a similar state as fight or flight - challenged with finding its needed parasympathetic state to restore. Societal conditioning has taken us away from our innate need to be still.
9. On track & On time: Due to a norm of Timed ExpectationsEver since being a "sponge" of a child, we started creating a timeline in our head of where we should be in our life at X age & how it will feel. As time progresses, we compare ourselves to those timeline expectations & to our peers. "Am I on track? Am I falling behind other people's timeline, their success, their relationship progression, their possessions? These expectations are our enemy. The expectations are a box that doesn't allow us to grow in different directions. "My life needs to look like this, by this time & if not, I'm a failure." Society talked into our ear though subconscious & conscious messaging giving ourselves an "ideal" life to test ourselves against.
Together, I will guide you toward the path to be: what you want to be & what’s in alignment with YOU, not for society.
Here’s to becoming better versions of yourself & finally finding fulfillment by ditching societal messaging & tuning into your inner truth.
This is true self development.
